"to be undecided or sceptical about / to tend to disbelieve, distrust"
Aka in Indo, ragu2
, ga pecaya 
.. blah n blah. Hef u ever felt doubtful? Pasti pernah!! N harus pernah! If u r a normal human being. Hehe, maksa abis. Ya emang harus pernah. Well, people do experience this doubtfully-feeling towards almost anything in life. You do sometimes doubt about the whole life itself khan?
U doubt about as little things as ur own confidence to just stand up in front of the class to do ur oral, until the bigger things in life, like doubting wat's the future gonna bring u, whether u r in the right path of ur life, doubting about your own feelings, and even doubting ur most trusted people. Kaya ada pepatah "hati orang siapa yang tau siy". N tu emang betul bgt. Human, they tend like having "unsynchronized" mind, heart, action n words. Hey gw ga lagi pointing out to people ya, I am like so too sometimes.
I once did doubt about my future when I was on my job waiting period (alias nanggur ga dapet2 kerjaan). N even noe while I'm in a job, I do still doubt about things that are coming. I dun nou wat's gonna come, unless I'm sort of a witch or paranormal. Life's full of unseen mystery. Berat betul kata2nya ya. Udah mystery, unseen lagi. Yah pokoke we're like blind people walking. Sometimes it scares so much that u dun see that there is a deep fall n u might fall hardly. Must be hurt, sumetimes felt like breaking ur whole bones. Tapi ya kata orang, "ngeflow aja". Ya I guess that's all we can do. Even u plan things out, u dun even noe wats gonna happen tomorrow, or even an hour later. Everything could happen.
Knp gw share this things? Maybe bcoz rite now I do doubting
, and this is surely not the first one. It gets me no where the more I think about it. I think all of us need like some kind of a real life insurance. Something that could assure us that watever life might bring us too, no matter how bad it is, everything is under ur insurance policy, everything will be okay. N buat gw sekarang (telling myself), I do doubting about things, confused n lost, and even on the below-side of the wheel. But there's one thing that I might call as my life insurance. This might sounded too naive, but my life insurance, the one who keeps giving me hope and assurance, is JC (Jesus Christ >> answering one of the question in my tagboard).
Why Him? Well, face the fact. We're fragile human. We act like we're the strongest & the smartest species in the world, but we dun even know wats gonna happen in the next 5 minutes. People didn't nou that there would be tsunami, people dun survive in the water. N like I said, we're so blind walking. Then JC, He's the one who created the world; created us (no smartest brain in the world smp skrng can create a human being!). He is God. God knows His creation and knows about the past, the present and the future. He knows of making the rain, shaking the world, growing the plants (we only plant, water n take care, but who give the life to it?). And for me, why is He my assurer, coz singkat kata, He's d only who duznt blind-walking; He knows n He can do anything in His mightly power. Even things go bad, go wrong, again, I am all insured and everything will be just fine. Things happen for reasons, reasons yg most of the time we dun see. Sometimes in the worst time, that's when I learn so much, and understand more.
"The God who created the sun, the sea, the earth and the whole universe is One who created me and loves me."
Thank u banget Jc for always be my assurer. N even I do doubt about things, I never doubt on u. And that erases all the doubts I have. Yeey!!
Labels: Cocktails