On my way driving back to Perth from Albany wif my family, u know, they (my parents n my 2 grandmothers), often chat about old relatives and friends back home. N of course, remembering opa too. And I asked my dad about the picture he took when my grandpa was dying in the hospital, and the chat went on to why did he really pass away. After so many years, I found out that he didn't pass away caused by his asthma (which I always thought what it was). I remembered his asthma was quiet bad and he had to go back n forth to bcoz of it. Oma always told me if ask her, what illness my grandad had, she told me.. sakit ASMARA, which she would meant asma. Anyways... Dad told me that he passed away becoz he fell down from his hospital bed, when he was treated for his light stroke. N karna itu, dia pendarahan di otak.. n died. I was shock.
I asked my dad, n my self in my mind. How come no one was there, how come the nurse didn't lookout for him, how come.., and why? Apparently my dad told me that he sued the hospital that we didn’t have to pay for any hospital fee. But that's still not fair! Money can't replace any life. If I was my dad, I might ask another life to replace my Grandpa's.. hahaha (so human ngga sih?). I was kept on thinking, if someone was there, if the bed was just made more secure, if.. if.. and if.. he might be still with us today. But then on my other side of mind (ceritanya lagi ada good angel n bad angel in my head kaya di cartoon), our God have the controls over our life. He decided when he would create us, and when we died. N lately I've been reading this Purpose Driven Life (should read it), it opens up many new things about life for me. So I was thinking, if God has decided when he would take people's life, it doesn't matter what cause it. I was thinking, if grandad didn't fell down, he might die over something else. Vice versa, if it wasn't his time to go, though he fell off, he would still be alive then. Bener ngga sih pemikiran gw?
Waktu gw ngerasa it all seemed not fair, I was also remained, that there are lots of unfair things happen in life. But, that's just how life is. It's sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes fair, and sometimes not too. Remember that God doesn't promise us sunny days all around the year.
There are lots of things that are not in our control, and that's okay. Sometimes we, human, think that EVERYTHING must be under our control, and ANYTHING we can control. It's true that we're created as the most powerful creature on earth, but that doesn't make us able to control everything. Everything is in His hands. And I guess, for things that we can do, we do; and for everything else that we don't have the power to do anything, we just have to believe that He's still and always in charge (even in those that we fell we are in control). And humbly we have to learn accepting it, even things seems so bad and unfair.
"The heart of worship is surrender" (Purpose Driven Life, chapter 10). It also says, the more you know how limitless our God's greatness and goodness, the easier it becomes for you to surrender everything. Don't get me wrong, surrender doesn't mean you're giving up, it doesn't mean you live like lazy cowards, because in the Bible, God actually sent surrendered people to the battle to win. I guess, for me, surrender really means to believe, and put your 100% trust that no matter what, God is in charge and He's a good God, not even in any circumstances that your bare eyes see. Proven facts in our circumstances could blind from trusting God and deceive us from seeing His works. If God's always in charge and He's always good, so there's nothing.. I mean NOTHING does happen by mistake and nothing does happen for no reason or for awful reasons.
In our good times, let's open our eyes and see how good the Lord is, and give Him thanks, because it's all good.
In our bad times, let's learn many great things about us, life and God's work that we don't learn and see in our good times, and still see how good the Lord is, and give Him thanks, because it's all still good.
Isn't life interesting in Him? ^__________________^
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