If only I have a time and a place to live soon.. this book is the one I really wanted to read since forever. Been recommended by friends and have read its overviews, but always happened ended up buying and reading others book.. like Wild's at Heart, and Captivating - that I haven't finished anyway.I kissed dating goodbye (page 55-58)
“You did what?” I asked in disbelief. Jeff Laughed loudly and accelerated the car as we went around a turn. My shock apparently energized him. “Gloria told her mom she was staying at her friend’s house, and we rented a room at hotel Friday night,” he said as if it were no big deal.
Though he hardly seemed old enough to be driving, my sixteen-year-old friend was acting as my chauffer during the summer weeks I spent at my grandmother’s home in Ohio. Our parents had known each other since the couples were newly-weds; we had pictures playing together as preschoolers.
Jeff and his girlfriend, Gloria, had been going out for a while. If you didn’t count the numerous times they had broken up then reconciled, they had dated for almost a year. Jeff had always remained vague about their level of physical involvement, but now they had obviously fully consummated their relationship. “We got a room at the Holiday Inn in Dayton,” he explained as he put his hand out the window into the cool night air. Turning to me he grinned, winked mischievously, and said, “Man, oh man.”
“I can’t believe you,” I said, letting the tone of my voice convey my disapproval. “You mean you and Gloria had … you had … I mean you slept together?” Jeff could tell I wasn’t pleased. He wanted me to be impressed, to slap him on the back like one of his football teammates in the locker room and praise him for his “exploit.” I wanted to slap him all right, but not on the back.
“Look, Josh,” he said defensively, “we’ve waited a long time for this. It was very special. Maybe it doesn’t meet your morals, but we felt that it was the right time to show our love.”
“My morals?” I said indignantly. “My morals? Since when were they mine?” How many times have we talked about this? With each other? At church? Jeff, you know that wasn’t right. You …”
“We love each other,” Jeff said, cutting me off in mid-sentence. “If you ever really fall in love, then you’ll understand.” The conversation ended. For some reason the stoplight took forever to turn green. We sat silently as the turn signal clicked off and on. I looked out the window.
Four years later, Jeff was going to college in Michigan. “I’m engaged!” he told me over the phone. “Debbie is incredible. I’ve never been so in love.”
“That’s great,” I said. My congratulations sounded hollow. I couldn’t help it. I was thinking of Gloria. I hadn’t seen her for a long time. What was she now? Three of four girlfriends back? Love huh?
“How does Chinese sound?” I asked as we pulled out of the driveway. “Hey, that’s great,” Eric replied with his typical enthusiasm. I’d only just met Eric and his wife, Leslie, but had already noted Eric’s exuberance and excitement about everything-even my restaurant suggestion. “That’s alright with you honey?” he gently asked Leslie, who was sitting in the back seat. “Sure,” she replied sweetly.
Eric and Leslie had stopped by to visit me during a drive through the Northwest. A friend in Colorado had told me about these newlyweds and the little book they had written. The book told the story of how they had met and grown to love each other without following the typical pattern of dating.
You’d be hard pressed to find two more romantic people. They adored each other, and it showed. Eric rarely took his eyes off Leslie. Sitting in the passenger seat on the way to the restaurant, he slipped his hand behind the seat, and Leslie reached forward and clasped it. Holding his hands when one person is sitting in the front seat and the other is in the back? I’d never seen that before.
After dinner, while we cracked upon our fortune cookies, I had a question. “You two can’t keep your hands off each other,” I began teasingly. Leslie blushed. “Was it difficult keeping the physical side of your relationship pure while you were engaged?” Eric took Leslie’s hand and smiled at her before he answered. “Of course the desire for that was present- it always will be,” he said. “But no, it wasn’t a struggle. Leslie and I decided very early in our relationship that we were going to refrain from physical contact until we were married. Our first kiss was at the altar.”
My jaw dropped. “You didn’t kiss until you got married?”
“Nope,” Eric said, beaming. “The most we did was hold hands. And Josh, we know that kind of standard isn’t for every couple. We didn’t make that decision to be legalistic; it came from the heart. Everyone, even our parents, told us we should kiss. But we both decided it was what we wanted to do. It was a way to show our love, to protect each other before we were married.” And then, with a twinkle in his eye, he said, “Let me tell you, Josh, that first kiss was the most incredible, beautiful thing in the world. I can’t even begin to describe it.”
Eric and Leslie. Jeff and Gloria. Two couples that used the same word- love- to explain what motivated them to act in opposite ways. Were both couples talking about the same thing? For Jeff and Gloria, love justified a night in a hotel room enjoying each other’s bodies before marriage. For Eric and Leslie, love meant barely touching each other before they walked to the altar. For Jeff and Gloria, love was impatient and demanded compromise. For Eric and Leslie, love fueled integrity and gave them the patience needed to wait.
One word. Two definitions.
Wow...