Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programmes running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?
Tech Support: What programmes are running?
Customer: Let me see... I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
Tech Support: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programmes. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM. EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM. EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programmes prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Tech Support: Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.
Customer: Oops...I have an error message already. What should I do?
Tech Support: What does the message say?
Customer: It says 'ERROR 412 - PROGRAMME NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS.' What does that mean?
Tech Support: Don't worry, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE programme is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means - 'you have to 'LOVE' your own machine before it can 'LOVE' others.'
Customer: So what should I do?
Tech Support: Can you find the directory called 'SELF-ACCEPTANCE'?
Customer: Yes, I have it.
Tech Support: Excellent, you are getting good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
Tech Support: Click on the following files and then copy them to the MYHEART directory: FORGIVESELF. DOC, SELFESTEEM. TXT, REALIZEWORTH. TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC. EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor and it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART!
Tech Support: Then LOVE is installed and running. One more thing before I go. LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet.They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some really neat modules back to you.
Customer: I will. Thank you for your help
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
I Corinthians 13:4-8a (NIV)