I realize everyday is a battle. The past few days indeed have been my mini battlefields where I had to resist lots of temptations, lazziness, negativity, pessimistics, etc etc to prepare for my main battle. And just when you are about to fight the 'biggest enemy', one that you've never prepared of - attacks, and you just loose all of your energy. Makes you wonder why it has to be happened on the particular day and it seems like there was no use to even fight those little enemies previously - at the end I lost. Why did I allow it to attack me, why can't I gather myself just in time and so much being so misdirected that I lost my focus over my main battle?
I lost it.
.. still with my very smallest heart right now, it tells me that in You there's always hope no matter how dead my end is. My little heart whispers for hope in You. I do loose control over my life many times but I know You never loose control over mine.. and I wanna believe it.
Dear Lord, pick me up.. I have to face tomorrow.