Now I have a bit of time to just take some deep breaths - waiting for my class at 7.30pm. I don't think I can continue anywork tonight. It's been so restless. After I handed in my project I had a long and very slow walk to the library. Haha, nowadays it's rare to have a relax kind of walking! It was a long way and I had 8 books in my bag to be returned - heavy bok! On my way I prayed for the work I've done coz without Him my work is all useless. And I was having my dawn dreaming! Just to reflect for the last few days.
Determination. It's crazy. You know to hand in my project today, these were what has happened through:
- 4 hours sleep
- After I greet my Father, straight from bed to my desk - not even sempet touch the floor
- sat down until 4.45 (it's the whole day since I woke up)
- on my way crossing the street, man, that car almost hit me as I stood in the middle of the street. It was my fault coz I was in a hurry but I couldn't think of anything just stood there while the driver maki2 gw.. haha. It was crazy.
- it was raining so I was all wet (sampe ampir kering skrng.. haha!)
- n I had 8 books in my bag to carry while I'm running.. gila.
What does this list say to us all. Yes, orang ngga puasa jadi puasa ngga sengaja. I had not had anything, even water. And yes.. belom mandiiiiiiiiiiiiii !!!!!!!! Haha, tenang donk, I did take a shower last nite before I slept. So it wasn't as bad.
I was thinking, man.. all of these susah, sacrifice, "battle" it was only for one thing: submitting in a project. For the sake of the determination to hand in a project. I must say again, it's crazy. It's not only pushing your body to the limit, but it also stirs up your emotion and mental. You know the feeling when tension is high, things become much harder and much more complicated.
If I see myself now - how could I do it? I dun really know. What I knew was I needed to hand it in. What I saw in my mind was only the assignment box.. hahaha. Determination makes yourself to be focus to your goal. Determination helps you to push you a little bit more when you need it. Determination enables you to go thhrough all bariers.
U see, my goal was to hand in my assignment. Thru it, I was able to sleep only for 4 hours, thru it I was able not to eat/ drink. Not because I didnt want to, but I was so focused that I didn't think of it, didn't feel hungry/ thristy. Thru it I could stand walking lifting heavy bags and thru the rain. Thru it I didnt have time to be scared even the car almost hit me, and didnt have time think or getting angry to orang2 yg maki2 gw.. n kept on moving.
Determination is not about using every single possible ways with our strength we have. I think it's more like being focused. Now I'm confused. Hahaha. I mean I can't really differentiate goals, determination, focus, persistent, faith, believe.. they're all like can't be separated. We can't have goals withtout determination, and we can't have determination without goals.
I believe our God is a God of focus, goals and determination. God wants us to be focused at the finishing line. If you read the bible, it says couple of times for us not to look out for sideways. Our ultimate finishing line as Christians would be to love God, and to reach Heavens. To love God is no easy. But are we determined enough to love Him? Are we focusing ourself to the Heaven? Or are we to much doing "sight-seeing"?
What other goals do you have in life? God also wants us to be determined - especially in Him. We may give up as human beings, but never give up on GOD. Be determined on the prices He has prepared in whatever circumstances you are in. Be focus in all His promises no matter what barriers you have go though. God has promised us un-countable things (please refer to the bible for details =p), what we really need is determination and to focus ourself. Be focused on who He is, His almighty strengh, not to our weaknesses, limitations, our bariers and what ever your physical eyes can only reach. We'll be able to go though the rain, the pain, the difficulties, just almost anything.. just if we keep seeing your finishing line.. the 'goals'.
If you're a runner, all u need to do is to reach the finishing line. U won't stop if you're thrown by stones.. haha. You won't stop if there stones along the way, you won't stop kalo ada penonton maki2.. n I'm sure a pro-runner will continue to run even if their shoes suddenly are broken (for some particular reasons). They will raise up when they fall.. because they know they have to reach the finishing line.
Can u imagine if Moses, or Joshua had the mentality of the Israelities? Not seeing the finishing line.. all they saw was the bariers, the long walks, the dessert.. the situation and conditions, the reality. "Lucky" God chose Moses and Joshua. They believed God. Not only believed, they put God's promise and the Promised land inside their mind and heart so whatever barriers, situation and condition they're in, they always determined, focus, persistent to the goals that God has promised. I think if Moses n Joshua were like the Israelities they maybe ended up somewhere in one of the places they went through - which wasn't what God has prepared. Maybe they'd think.. "oh, so much trouble, why don't we just stop here.. it's good enough for us". Heizz.. dun be like playboys who always seeing for "backups".. haha. And don't give up on the second best when God has planned for the best!
Abraham and Sarah. What they saw was a child that God has promised. Not the fact that they were too old and therefore impossible to have kids.
Determination, I'm telling you, it's gonna be a roughy and crazy road.. but we'll see mad and unbelievable things we can do with God. And when you look back, you'll be amazed that you have went such roads that u didn't think u can do it. Whooooooo...
Are we determined enough to our goals? Are we seeing the Promised lands? Do we focus on who He is? Or do we too much focus in the reality and the barriers?
Now.. do you know which one is my topic? Is it determination? Is it focus? Is it goals? .. hahaha u dicide.
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