Was high after submitted my last work at 6pm and class until 9pm. Just really glad and thankful for everything. University life.. great than ever! The whole atmosphere, the long (with all the lights alongside) main walk at night at night, feels like spend a night at Europe^^. At day time when you see it from the upper campus it feels like you're standing on top of the mountain.

I'm so gonna miss everything.

Great friends.. nothing beats companionship of good friends. Not to mention good (and bad) lecturers + tutors, just love them. Group members - not friends but share similar goals. People that you pass by, recognize their faces yet can't remember their names.. a friendly hello wouldn't hurt at all=)

All the assignment stresses, exams anxiety.. hope for the future.. cherish each moment coz life doesn't turn back. And right now at this moment, I am super thankful for my life. When I imagine about it.. sometimes still can't believe that I'm in Sydney. Sydney, man! Hahaha. I live abroad like as if I live home. I live by Australian dollar as if I live by Rupiah. The chance to be in one of the bestest country, lifestlye, education and food. What do I have left to complain?

.. and of coz, never be grateful enough for my loved ones.
Lord God Jesus Christ
Mom & Dad
Faithful friends
.. and youuuuuuuuu (wakie!^^)

Have you ever realized that where you are now and who you are now, not just because of hard work of your loved ones but also of their remembrance of your names among all of their needs in their prayers ..

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.

Labels: Characters

Just wondering about myself on Monday morning.. hmmm. This is it. I am taking the brighter side. Sometimes the hardest person to understand is ourself. Funny. Hehe. But I wanna understand myself.. so I can cooperate with myself and as one me, myself and Melissa is indeed a good solid team. Haha.

Well, this is how I am going to take it. Everything in life is a process.. growing, cooking, driving, walking - shortly, it's a never ending learning. Dunno how you see it but I wanna see it always that everything happens in my life is good and only for good reasons.. because my God works to bring good for me. He promised me and I believe Him. Love takes two =p

ALTHOUGH

Believing good things does not always mean things will just go right and even seem right at all. When things go bad we often choose to write our own end of story. Thus, BAD BAD BAD. Then.. start questioning God and blaming life.

SO!

Whatever process I am in right now.. I said I wanna learn. I did and I do still. Look at the left side bar of my layout. Full of confidence heh. At least I have some - don't complain =p.. hehe. It ain't easy to learn, to ahieve good and to be good. Back to Monday morning.. I realized.. hey, it's Ok Mel, things and yourself seem like (fill in the dots.......), that's because You're learning and it's really okay for things to go really bad, because that's how people learn and walah, at least you're learning something (good) in life!

PROUD^^

So well, what is it that frustrate you these days?
Learning to swim and drink too much water?
If you don't drink the water it may means you're just seating in the pool side and never able to swim!
Learning to forgive and those hatred feeling do come in a while?
How do you know how to forgive if you're never been hurted?Learning to fly yet you keep falling down?
Falling down means you're not on the ground.

Whatever it is.. be kind to yourself but not let anything (including yourself) give up to fate coz in God we don't have fate! Especially the bad ones.. kutu baba kutu baba huh! (Anti dandruff shampoo ads in Indo)^^

"When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?" - Sydney J. Harris (1917-1986) English-born American Columnist, Journalist, Author

Thank you God for letting me to go thru all of these process.. it means You believe in me so much while myself don't even have such faith in me. Thank you for my loved ones who always believe in me and there for me. Love you sayang!

Labels: Characters

Everyone wants perfections.
Have you ever wondered that the perfect ones may not be the best ones?
God gives the best, not perfection.
For nothing is perfect in this world.

Labels: Characters

A dollar is just a dollar for us. For some, it's worth of a 30 mins of parking. It's meant to be for tips to others.. or spares they randomly find in their pocket to be given to beggers. It doesn't buy you a cup of coffee here in Australia. It doesn't mean anything for some.

Today I went for the Spiderman 3. Superb Superb Superb. A must watch I must say. He said everyone always has a choice. Mostly to do good or bad.. to be a good person or the other way around. I do agree.

It seems like alot of money. An on going $480 per year. But it's actually only about a dollar per day. It's not much... little I can do.. I know. But I said it can a lot more to others in need than to myself. I knew it in my heart but wasn't sure how.. how to explain.

One of Spiderman's enemy was made of sands. I'd call him the Sand Man. He chose to steal and kill the Spiderman's uncle. That made Spiderman wanted to take revenge. Blood with blood some people say. What Spiderman didn't know until the very end was, the Sand Man had to do it because he needed lots of money for his dying daughter. For the love of a father to his own daughter. That can't justify of what he did I know. He said he didn't have choice. I say he had little choices. A lot less choices than some others. It reminded me of my servant's son who died because of simple illness, just because they didn't have any choice for a medication/ a help and they only choice they had was to let him go.

A dollar is just a dollar in amount. It is. But now I know, my one dollar per day, that little-almost-worth-of-nothing gold coin worths more than just an amount. To them it means more choices in tight life. One Australian dollar in Indonesia gives them choices to have meals. It gives them choices not to steal and harm others. It gives them choices to hope for the better because people do care. One dollar means more than just an amount.. more than just money. It depends how we see it and how we use it.

In tears Spiderman saw the bigger picture. A picture that shows him beyond of what he tought, beyond his anger of his killed uncle. A skecth of desperation and love. That opened up his heart to understand more, be healed from anger and to forgive.

I was in tears to know that my little help does great things for those who are in need. My heart saw it but now my eyes see it. Whereever you are, I do care.. I hope with more choices you have in your hand, you choose the better path in life.

Thank you for revealing this to me.

Something similar I posted before here.

Labels: Characters, Love Actually

Live life with full of passion
Not just because I have to live
Live with love, faith and courage
With great purposes and dreams
Not just whatever

Who I was does not have to determine who I am and who I can be
I won't allow my circumstances to dictate my life
But instead, I will get the grip of them only for positive things in life

I wanna live a lover's life

Ps. I'm a Sunday's girl. This is what happen everytime I meet my Father and Lover of my soul +)

Labels: Characters, Love Actually

New layout.. finally =) I Want To Fly Again.. Dedicated to someone who went through and made me realise that no matter how deep you have fallen and how much you tought you couldn't and wouldn't fly again.. we were made to fly..

I want to learn to walk again
slow, little steps but on my own feet
i want to spread my wings again
and again learn to fly
to see the wonders of the world again
like the sun always shines in the morning
i know i still can dream
again...

Labels: Characters

Poverty mentality
Wealthy mentality

Which one are you?

Never to be satiesfied we human are. I guess to certain degree it's good to have goals in life.. until those goals, desires, wants.. become lacks.

not pretty enough
not slim enough
not enough money
bad food
too many choices
assignments.. exams..
.
.

Lol.. list down all of those never ending complains we have!!!
Well, can't deny to certain degrees to, being pretier, being healthier, being richer (whatever you wanna have more) do makes like better - therefore happier. Only until you find still you are lacking of more things that you still desire. Haha - never ending.

I choose to have wealthy mentality in any circumstances I am in. When I am full of thanks giving, I feel I'm rich and I'm happy.. hehe. Rather than having a poverty mentality even in an abundant life.. never ending complain.. What a pity - get a life!

I am thankful
For what I have
For what I don't have (so what when I have all what I have now)
For all the confusions (means I have choices when others don't)
For all my sorrows (they teach me lots more than anything)
For my family (for their love, their presence, their directions)
For my friends (for all the laughters.. seriously, does it matter what we eat? No! We just love each other's companion ^^)
For my uni workload (I'm doing postgrad when others can't even go to school.. wow!)

Are you rich/ poor?

I'm proud that I'm sooo rich. Hahaha.

Up to you.

Labels: Characters

When I miss my bus no matter how I try to plan my trip ahead
I realize that life is more or less like so
Though the buses come with sets of bustops and timetables
There are always chances the bus come earlier, later, they just don't stop for reasons, they break down, and comes many other reasons
So no matter how we think we have perfectly planned ahead and get ready on time
There are still chances we miss them
And we know that little is in our control

At the end we often feel so miserable of uncontrolled things in our life and asked why they all happen.. Well, the answer is one and only, we're never in control.

Go easy people, sometimes when I dont really plan my trip, it could be the most exact time for the bus - funny. But that's how life is.. we are ain't in control.

Labels: Characters, Cocktails

People say, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

This is what God wants us to learn as well as having faith. Well, at least for me lately this is what God has unrevelaed. Faith is essential as salt in every cook. Having faith is no easy - well, most of the time it really doesn't make sense in any of human senses. But the a journey of faith begins with a single step of faith.

Joshua 3: 11, 13
"Behold, the ark of the covenant of the Lord of all the earth is crossing over before you into the Jordan." And when the feet of the priests who take up the ark of the Lord, the Lord of all the earth, come to rest in the waters of Jordan, the waters of Jordan will be cut off, all the waters flowing down from higher up, and will come together in a mass.

Yosua 3:11, 13
Sesungguhnya, tabut perjanjian Tuhan semesta bumi berjalan menyeberang di depan kamu, masuk ke sungai Yordan. Segera sesudah kaki para imam pengangkat tabut TUHAN, Tuhan semesta bumi, berhenti di dalam air sungai Yordan, maka air sungai Yordan itu akan terputus; air yang turun dari hulu akan berhenti mengalir menjadi bendungan.

Those lines in italic is the promise of the Lord. Howeverrr bangeettt, the rover of Jordan wouldn't be cut off UNLESS the priests took the step into the river. And that step is so called the step of faith. God didn't cut off the river first, but the priest walked first - by faith.

Ecclesiastes 11: 4
He who is watching the wind will not get the seed planted, and he who is looking at the clouds will not get in the grain.

Siapa senantiasa memperhatikan angin tidak akan menabur; dan siapa senantiasa melihat awan tidak akan menuai.

Another translation:
Siapa menunggu sampai angin dan cuaca sempurna, tak akan menanam dan tidak pula memetik hasilnya.

So, I'll just end here and let The Word of God speaks for itself for everyone of you who needs that courage to make step by faith.

Labels: Characters, My Everything

I've just handed in my second project which was due 27 minutes ago. I had one done yesterday and tommorow I have to do 2 weekly reviews (didn't have time to do it last week). So u can imagine how crazy it is like for me for the last few days. It is mad.

Now I have a bit of time to just take some deep breaths - waiting for my class at 7.30pm. I don't think I can continue anywork tonight. It's been so restless. After I handed in my project I had a long and very slow walk to the library. Haha, nowadays it's rare to have a relax kind of walking! It was a long way and I had 8 books in my bag to be returned - heavy bok! On my way I prayed for the work I've done coz without Him my work is all useless. And I was having my dawn dreaming! Just to reflect for the last few days.

Determination. It's crazy. You know to hand in my project today, these were what has happened through:
- 4 hours sleep
- After I greet my Father, straight from bed to my desk - not even sempet touch the floor
- sat down until 4.45 (it's the whole day since I woke up)
- on my way crossing the street, man, that car almost hit me as I stood in the middle of the street. It was my fault coz I was in a hurry but I couldn't think of anything just stood there while the driver maki2 gw.. haha. It was crazy.
- it was raining so I was all wet (sampe ampir kering skrng.. haha!)
- n I had 8 books in my bag to carry while I'm running.. gila.

What does this list say to us all. Yes, orang ngga puasa jadi puasa ngga sengaja. I had not had anything, even water. And yes.. belom mandiiiiiiiiiiiiii !!!!!!!! Haha, tenang donk, I did take a shower last nite before I slept. So it wasn't as bad.

I was thinking, man.. all of these susah, sacrifice, "battle" it was only for one thing: submitting in a project. For the sake of the determination to hand in a project. I must say again, it's crazy. It's not only pushing your body to the limit, but it also stirs up your emotion and mental. You know the feeling when tension is high, things become much harder and much more complicated.

If I see myself now - how could I do it? I dun really know. What I knew was I needed to hand it in. What I saw in my mind was only the assignment box.. hahaha. Determination makes yourself to be focus to your goal. Determination helps you to push you a little bit more when you need it. Determination enables you to go thhrough all bariers.

U see, my goal was to hand in my assignment. Thru it, I was able to sleep only for 4 hours, thru it I was able not to eat/ drink. Not because I didnt want to, but I was so focused that I didn't think of it, didn't feel hungry/ thristy. Thru it I could stand walking lifting heavy bags and thru the rain. Thru it I didnt have time to be scared even the car almost hit me, and didnt have time think or getting angry to orang2 yg maki2 gw.. n kept on moving.

Determination is not about using every single possible ways with our strength we have. I think it's more like being focused. Now I'm confused. Hahaha. I mean I can't really differentiate goals, determination, focus, persistent, faith, believe.. they're all like can't be separated. We can't have goals withtout determination, and we can't have determination without goals.

I believe our God is a God of focus, goals and determination. God wants us to be focused at the finishing line. If you read the bible, it says couple of times for us not to look out for sideways. Our ultimate finishing line as Christians would be to love God, and to reach Heavens. To love God is no easy. But are we determined enough to love Him? Are we focusing ourself to the Heaven? Or are we to much doing "sight-seeing"?

What other goals do you have in life? God also wants us to be determined - especially in Him. We may give up as human beings, but never give up on GOD. Be determined on the prices He has prepared in whatever circumstances you are in. Be focus in all His promises no matter what barriers you have go though. God has promised us un-countable things (please refer to the bible for details =p), what we really need is determination and to focus ourself. Be focused on who He is, His almighty strengh, not to our weaknesses, limitations, our bariers and what ever your physical eyes can only reach. We'll be able to go though the rain, the pain, the difficulties, just almost anything.. just if we keep seeing your finishing line.. the 'goals'.

If you're a runner, all u need to do is to reach the finishing line. U won't stop if you're thrown by stones.. haha. You won't stop if there stones along the way, you won't stop kalo ada penonton maki2.. n I'm sure a pro-runner will continue to run even if their shoes suddenly are broken (for some particular reasons). They will raise up when they fall.. because they know they have to reach the finishing line.

Can u imagine if Moses, or Joshua had the mentality of the Israelities? Not seeing the finishing line.. all they saw was the bariers, the long walks, the dessert.. the situation and conditions, the reality. "Lucky" God chose Moses and Joshua. They believed God. Not only believed, they put God's promise and the Promised land inside their mind and heart so whatever barriers, situation and condition they're in, they always determined, focus, persistent to the goals that God has promised. I think if Moses n Joshua were like the Israelities they maybe ended up somewhere in one of the places they went through - which wasn't what God has prepared. Maybe they'd think.. "oh, so much trouble, why don't we just stop here.. it's good enough for us". Heizz.. dun be like playboys who always seeing for "backups".. haha. And don't give up on the second best when God has planned for the best!

Abraham and Sarah. What they saw was a child that God has promised. Not the fact that they were too old and therefore impossible to have kids.

Determination, I'm telling you, it's gonna be a roughy and crazy road.. but we'll see mad and unbelievable things we can do with God. And when you look back, you'll be amazed that you have went such roads that u didn't think u can do it. Whooooooo...

Are we determined enough to our goals? Are we seeing the Promised lands? Do we focus on who He is? Or do we too much focus in the reality and the barriers?

Now.. do you know which one is my topic? Is it determination? Is it focus? Is it goals? .. hahaha u dicide.

Labels: Characters

"I learn that we don't need anything to live except God - only if He still gives us breath"

from a Tsunami victim who lost everything and everyone except her life

Labels: Characters, Cocktails

It's funny. Lately I've been exposured to this is so called "man ego". Maybe afterall I don't really know about guys, and here I am accidentally finding new things about these martians. I was faced with the issue for real, but I didn't really know that it was a typical nature - if I can call it, of guys. I thought it was just a character for a particular person or a mood for a particular situation. But then I when a friend told me her story about her guy friend.. I tought.. "wat a coincidence, this guy's thought is very similar... hmmm *thinking*"

Then, in one of an ocassional chat, another friend told me this, "part of it mungkin juga because men are always trying so hard to prove they are strong, to protect their male ego, and by doing so, they become weak". (I copied n pasted it, so it's really from a male's mind)/ *Now I dun even know what were we talking about*

Another time, I chatted about.. you know light stuffs about things not too important to a male 'creature'. During the talk he swiftly said, "yah, anggep aja ini buat ego gw sebagai cowo.." (just think that's it's to fulfill my man's ego). I was like.. what? What ego are you talking about? ..It remains me again about the three 'anecdotes' previously. Then it made me thinking.. this can't be another coincidence. I decided not to ask and talk about it further with him though.. so I was left with my own wonder and thought...

Then I thought, this is not a matter of a coincidence, not a matter of a character, not a matter of moods, this is so called a man ego! Is it? Unrealized-ly, I think.. man wants people (or at least women) to think and see them as a strong character. I don't know but maybe this is some kind of a self measurement for themselves? It's like some women think they are being judged by how they look, and this is the guys' case. I might be wrong, it's what I think.... hmmmm.. man ego.. hmmm. Ternyata!

Labels: Characters, Cocktails

"Be strong and of a good courage"
"Kuatkan dan teguhkanlah hatimu"

I was reading my daily devotion and it was tkaen from the book of Joshua.

The I continued opening the book of Joshua and read the chapter. It's interesting to know, that when God assign Joshua to lead His people to the Promise Land, He promised Joshua these:

I'm giving you every square inch of the land you set your foot on, just as I promised Moses.. From the wilderness and this Lebanon east to the Great River, the Euphrates River, all the Hittite country and then west to the Great Sea. It's all yours. No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you (v 3-5).

But what caught me is that after He promised these things to Joshua, He told Joshua,
"Be strong and of a good courage" ("Kuatkan dan teguhkanlah hatimu"). Do you know how many times God said this to Joshua? THREE TIMES in that first chapter! Emangnya Joshua Budi? Budeg dikit maksudnyeee.. hehe. No, I don't think the bible ever mentioned that Joshua got impaired hearing.. haha. I think God really wants him to really understand and remember this!! And I am sure that it's not only Joshua, but God wants all of us to undertsand n remember this few words: "Be strong and of a good courage" ("Kuatkan dan teguhkanlah hatimu").

So, what are your Promised Lands? You see that God is really powerful enough to bring the Israelities and us straight to the Promised Land in a blink. Kaya pintu ajaibnya Doraemon! Heiz, that's too easy for Him!!! But God wants this "personal walk" with you. Why? Because of tons of good reasons! He wants us to know Him personally of His charateristics and His mighty power. He wants us to really feel His presence along the way.

Along the way to the Promise Lands, God has allowed us to face the impossibilities. Some as results of our disobidience, some as because God wants us to experience His power over our impossibilities. God has given the Promised Land, yet He still allows roadblocks and difficulties. He wants to shape our charateristics. He wants us to see that it's Him who's bringin us there, not our power and might.

I believe once we have reach the promise land (hang on friends!), we'll look back and just stand in our awe in Him. Our God is an awesome God. And only then we can really appreciate our Promised Lands.

So if God has promised us His protection, His faithfulness along the way to the Promised Land, what's left for us?

Be strong hearted and of a firm courage in Him, even though the battle seems to be impossible.
Be strong hearted and of a firm courage in Him, be persistent in faith.
Be strong hearted and of a firm courage in Him, believe and trust whole heartedly!

Gee, how many times do we really need to be reminded...?

Have faith in your unseen yet given promised lands!

Labels: Characters, My Everything

Yes, it's true that to learn anything we must experience and put them into practise. It's true that God wants us soar like an eagle in the stormiest weather, to have faith that moves mountain, and so on - all the "big things". It's good if we can realize it in every thing that we go through that nothing is accidentally. But sometimes we forget that God not only wants us to learn the big stuffs, but He indeed wants to make us perfect even in the smallest thing - such as instant patience. Why do I call it as instant? Becoz we may realize about the long-waiting patience that sometimes God has put us to, but these instant patients are the little things that happen througout ur dailies .. so little that we slip to remember that they do too still happens for reasons.

Kesabaran. I know I must be a little more patience. Haha, and in order to be one, I need to exercise on it. Duh, ngomong Indo aja.. for safety, coz my experience is olwes based on true story! Lol. This semester I am having 4 projects in each unit, and one of my project team semuanya cewe, n 1 doank cowonya. Ni cowo.. duh, sorry to say tapi luemooottttttttttttt Arghhhh! Mungkin krn bahasa juga, soalnya dia brand new imported to Australia. Huhuhu. Jadi, kita yang cewe2 kalo group meeting kadang jadi ngacangin dia.. apalagi if the topic gets hot and u need to argue about things, u dunt have time to be a friendly "host". Tapi krn feel guilty, olwes try buat include dia by asking, wat do u think n so on. Tapi.. misalnya kita ngebahas... a sampe h, trus dia tuh bisa no where between a-h, tapi malah ngomongin angka 5 . Let's say that. Jadi yo ga nyambung blassssss.. wes muales yoo kalo mesti explain2 lagi pelan2. Jadi kalo dia uda kaga nyambung.. kita cewe2nya yg cuman "errhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." (if a girl cuman bisa diem it can mean anything!) *n dun bother about him n continue chatting.. hahaha. Trus, benernya ini lucu juga kl dipikir2. Kalo pun dia punya ide ngomong sesuatu.. gantian kita cewe2nya yg lemot (merendahkan diri nih).. kaga ngatriiiiiiiii dia ngomong paaann??? Hiyaa, ini nih communication breakdown! Trus kadang suka ngeyeell pula coba *bagian ini paling ngetes kesabaran sampe titik terkahir* Aduh, mas eeeee

Jadi team gw tuh udah bnr2 kaya girl power deh. Gw jadi latihan extra sabar. Tiap kali udah pengen "sebodo-amat-in" die, I must remember that it's not only myself that I "bring" in me, but Him. I must think in everything and every situation, I have His name in my life and one of the best way to show Him and make Him known from your life is from my words, my attitudes and my character. God's good that He puts me into the exercise field. Jadi gw ngga bisa se-enaknya ikutan kesel sama dia. I need to show him love kan.. heiz, jgn mikir2 uaneh2! I'm glad sih so far belom ada perang di team gw. I always try to be the "bridge" between ni cowo sama kita yg cewe2. Jadi kalo dia ngomong gw berusaha ngertiin n tell the girls apa maksud dia.. n vice versa, apa yg the girls mean I try to explain to him. My greatest achievement so far is, gw yg ga sabaran gini is the fact cewe tersabar di group project gw! caelaaaahh Hahaha. It ain't no easy work, though. What happen kalo teteb kaga nyambung? Wes, buyar buyarr!!

Labels: Characters

Blaahhh! I've just handed in my major paper.. so relieved tat only 4 group projects and 4 presentation before exams! (4 group project + 4 presentation kowq legaa tohh mbak??)

The last few days have been really chaos. Those sleepless nite and restless days. It's about pushing ur body, mind, soul n persistancy to the limit. I feel like one of those people in the Biggest Loser now=p

Thru those 'battle', I was again reminded. In a human life, you have 2 kind strengths. One is your body stamina, and the other one, mostly important is you inner strength.. hmm, mentally maybe you call it? Fortunatelly, our inner strength can overcome our body weakness, and unfortunatelly though, our body strength can't overcome our mental weakness.

That's why I said our mental n inner strength is "more important". I mean it's true that healthy body is essential and is needed, but there is nothing magical in achiving good healthy body. u hungry then u eat, u sick u take medicine, u tired.. u take a nap, u need more power u drink redbull.. and so on. Haha. But, when it comes to lazyness, not in the mood, giving up.. n all of its families........................................... it's like you have no strength left at all, even your physique is as fresh as from the oven. For myself, even though it's exhausting and tireing, as long as there is spirit from inside.. nothing can stop me. N of course vice versa, when i don't feel like doing it, sad, bad mood... etc etc hiiihhh, dont even try to bribe me with 5L bubble tea.. hehehe^_^

I'm glad tat Jos also has lots of things to do like me... haha, sorry jos. This way we can give each other "caiyoo.. we can do it!". I remember one I hear a preacher said, people pay good money for personal trainer in gym which is at the end only to cheer them and push them. U do know that a personal trainer costs alot huh? "two more to go", "come one", "almost there".. and so on.* Anyone wanna pay me to do tat?? I'll charge 'friend cost'.. hehehe.

Then I also remember my granma. Oma gw itu punya kebiasaan unik yg baru gw sadarin akhir2 ini. Whenever she does something "hard", she'd cheer herself up by saying positive things.. like when she needed to get on the car (which is hard for ppl at her age), she'd say "on, on, on"... Or when she is finding lost things.. she'd say..,"found, found, found". And most of the time, whatever she 'believed' does happen.

It inspires me so much. I can see that being positive in everything is soo soo extremly important. To say positif words. If you read the Psalm of David, many times he spoke to himself, "Why are you cast down, O my soul? And [why] are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance!" (Psalm 42:5)

It would be so nice if there are ppl around us to cheer us up and dun give up on us. But if there are no ppl.. akankah kita terpuruk dalam penderitaan? Cwaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!! Bahasanya.. dienk.. dienk! Yah ngerti kan maksudnyaa.. huhu. Then cheer your soul up yourself!!! It's exciting, fun .. n most of all.. it works too. In whatever you do, think positive, that is to believe and have faith in the good things, and if you feel weary (it's when u start to think negative), wake yourself up by shouting to yourself! Slap yourself if you really need to do it.. hehe. A friend said to me, in practical, it's good if you pray using the promises of the Lord.. "God, u promised.." It's not to remind God of His promises, but to remind ourselves of all God's good promises. Give it a try, say the word of God to yourself, to your soul.. you'll be strengthen in an un-explain-able way. Kalo udah gitu.. you'll feel joy, peace and smangat lagi.. n u just can't stop to thank God loudly too.

Just don't give any chance, even a little for your mind n setan wewe gombel to intimidate you!!

Do u feel weary? Upset? Don't feel like living anymore? I won't cheer u up this tie but I'll cheer u up to cheer urself up *erhh.. u get wat I meean rite?* Smangatin ajaa diri sendiriii.. hayooo, kamu pasti bisa menyemangati diri sendiri!

James 3:5 A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything--or destroy it! It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire

I wanna be a positive girl *telling myself*, do you?? *asking you* answer it to yourself ^_^

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...very exhausted! It's true ya, to reach n get the best it's a real pain and cost you lots more! Hoyooooooh, 1 more day to go, the hardest part is this "perfectionize" the work. Tiap kali consultation adaaaa aja yg kurang.. hoyooh hoyoohh, smangat dirikuwwhh, almost there..!

Romans 12: 12
Be joyful in hope, patient in suffering, persist in prayer.

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Haven't got time to write anything (except my work.. hehe). So just thought to post The Food. This was especially dropped into my mailbox, I believe He again reminds me. And I believe He wants to remind you again.. and again dear all readers. Be blessed yoo!

But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in
Him. - Jeremiah 17:7

Have you ever considered at what point a test becomes so difficult that you decide you can no longer trust in God and you must take over to solve the problem? The prophet Jeremiah describes a situation in which the temptation to solve a financial problem can become so great that we trust in man's way to solve it.

This is what the Lord says: "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him (the requirement). He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit (all the promises that goes along when you fulfull the one requirement!)" (Jeremiah 17:5-8).

Jeremiah drew a sharp comparison between the man who trusts in his own effort to solve his problem and the man who trusts in God when he cannot see the outcome. The man who trusts in God bears fruit despite the circumstances in his life. He does not shrivel when the heat comes; in fact, his roots go deeper into God's grace. He continues to bear fruit in spite of his circumstances.

Recently, a friend from South Africa explained to me that whenever a plant lives in an arid climate, the roots drive deeper and deeper into the soil to get the water they need. This forces the plant to develop a root system that is far beyond the normal plant because it is forced to
go deeper to gain the water it needs. Sometimes God forces us to go deeper into the grace of His love in order to build a greater foundation in our own lives. These lean times are designed to accomplish this in us. If you find yourself in this condition, ask the Lord who provides the water for our soul for the grace you need today to continue to bear fruit in the desert.

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Proverbs 31: 15 She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants.

What a great previledges to be God's woman ! I used to read the book called, Beautiful in God's Eyes. It was just great. And last week, a friend shared this verse as he was sharing God's words about walking through the night. The whole preaching was great, but this one verse is particularly special to me.. maybe becoz I'm a female..?

This verse says.. apart from "DON'T SLEPT IN, WOMEN !!" Hahaha. It also says, God's woman AWAKES while it's still night time. It's talking being rising up in our night time - the trouble times. God's women are not designed to sleep in through the night, waiting for the sunrise then we wake up. We're created strong enough to "rise up" even in our darkest time and more than that, still focusing on God's vision for us and keep doing the work that God has planned.

So are you women going through your night? Don't sleep thru, it's time to rise up!

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So here we go, accidentally I found this article and this is (almost) exactly what I've been learning this year (apart from those I wrote in the previous post - I'm learning big matters too you know =p).

U know I had always thought I have understand what it takes to be a strong person, and how to do it. And it's all about being a strong woman as the article mentioned, apart from works out everyday to keep her body in shape coz I don't bother to do that. Hahaha.

I used to think that being strong means that if anyone attacks me with a knife, I should take out my sword (the bigger knife) to stab back. So, please don't bother to mess with me.. or else.. elo bakal koit! Wakaka.

I used to think if anyone stabbing on my back, I should walk in front of them and walk in pride, to show that I'm not shaken by whatever they're trying to do.

I used to think I have to be well-built to be able to always stand strong against anything that tries to bring me down.

And God has brought me to a different perspective of being strong. Not on my own, but being strong in Him, the kind He expects me to be.

I'm learning that strength is about standing still, bearing all the attacks without attacking back. A strong person is not the one who always wins in battles, is not the one who's able to gun down their enemy (because they're smarter, bigger, stronger, and equipped with more advanced guns), but the one who's no matter how rough the battles look, still courageously going into the battles. It’s easy to stay alive when you attack back, but what about if you can’t attack back, all you can do is wait, stand and still. That takes lots more courage and STRENGTH.

This relates so much with surrendering (read my whole bunch posts about surrendering). *Still confused about berserah & menyerah up to this point* It's that very thin line in between.

Gini loh contohnya (of what am trying to say).
Him/ her: Mel, ayam loe! (pilih yg rada2 alus)

Melissa dengan kekuatan sendiri: kutu, cacing, semut loe!!!!!
*Puas n merasa menang* "Emang elo yang ciptain gw?!"

Melissa that I'm trying to be: *jantung kembang kempis menahan emosi* Makasih.. *senyum*, kalo butuh apa2 kasih tau gw aja ya (gile, kesannya gw angel banget Hahaha). "Makasih Tuhan, You allow it to happen because you want me to learn to be humble & loving, to be the way You want me to be, for my own good." --Inget tapi, pembalasan milik Tuhan-- hahahaha.. gak gak.

But you see, the second version needs much more courage, and strength dibadingin yang pertama. Agreeee???

When you caught up in the rain, the quick and easy thing to do to "save" yourself is to run and get home ASAP. This way you'll get less wet, and of course, less chance to be sick. But sometimes God wants us to stay in the rain (for a while, not forever). He wants to teach us to stay strong with the strength from Him, although it's raining. He wants to show us that He could protect us from sickness although we stay in the rain, or if we even allowed to get sick, He wants us to see that He heals. He wants us to see that His power is not limited to the rain, sun or storms, and.. just mention other things He wants us to experience, see and learn, banyak banget actually! Admit it that God's not lacking of power to strip away the rain. It's just sometimes He allows it for us to grow, to be mature, not staying childish the way we were.

Emang bener yah kalo dibilang apa yang bener itu dianggap bodoh sama dunia.. soalnya bener2 kaga make sense.. seriously.

I'm learning being strong doesn't mean I can't be shaken. It's not about walking with pride, but about walking with love and poise that I'm taking whatever assaults & stabs they throw on me but still I'm able to walk humbly.

I'm learning strength is not about standing tall at all times, unshaken. Strength is how I pick up myself up when I fall. And I'm learning that it really is okay to fall once or two so that I learn that I'm not that strong and above anything else, I need God at all times. And most, I learn & experience God's goodness and His character much more when I fall, not when I'm standing strong.

Ternyata, being strong is not about avoiding pains and wounds, it's not about always being strong, is not about never fall, but strength is about facing the pains, going through the difficulties, hanging on the dark, healing from the wounds and learning to stand once again every time we fall. And the hardest one of all, is getting emotionally "disabled" that no matter how bad people treat, I have to be able to still, love them.

I have learnt and I'm still learning.. God knows how much I have tried, even many times I have failed.

So now, ending up the year of 2005, in spite of all, I can breath gladly that I have learnt so much about life, about myself and of course about God.

What about you guys? Have you learnt anything in the year of 2005? Let's look back, not to regret but to give thanks.

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