I can't do it
I don't want to do it
Please don't let me give up

I've been stuck with wanting to do more. Not merely what I have but what I do. There has to be more than this. Something that fulfils just by doing - despite of the results. I want to do something that I am deeply passionate about, something that motivates me to always go the extra mile .. where only the sky is the limit.

I know life was not meant to be like this - every single day at work simply to fill up the dinner plate with warm meals and the banks with more savings. It has to be more than only those - it should be thrilling, exciting, intriguing. I don't wanna wake up another day thinking, "oh my..... I don't feel like going to work today". Or thinking every Sunday night like everyone else, "oh no, it's Monday again". I want to wake up one day and shout to the whole world, it can't be better than this and this is what I want to do!

We're almost there.

Moving has never been a big thing for me until thi. The official moving out from the 10 years rented place has taken its toll - nights of cleaning, re-arranging, and boxing + 12 hours of removals by 3 men + 13 hours of cleaning by 3 people.. and yet we're not there yet!

Watching at them doing what they're doing for life, lifting the weight over their backs, brushing up other people's mess and trash.. yes, life is hard but it's even harder on them. Thank this country for its high-pay labour, they might earn almost as much as we do per day, except that we're sitting comfortably in our soft chair in full AC complaining, they literally work their *ss off.

Oh boy - how long has it been since I really write something? 3 short posts in 2009 - have I let everything passes by just like that? Too long that my blog layout started to wreck and I can barely remember how it meant to look like. Despite, I am still on the side that NOT pinning down your thought, experience and life is unforgivable. As days never come back nor repeat, it is important that we take moments to reflect, learn and give thanks – instead of letting everything passes you by granted.

Somewhere between summer moving in - it's the month of December... the year's festivity that marks an end and a new start is just around the corner. As much as my head can barely believe yet my heart is full of believe that everything cannot be more right than this. I have to say that life has spoiled me and I am enjoying every ride of it!

How long ago was it that Uni decided to let me go with another certificate on hand *grin*. My love story has finally comes to "and they live happily ever after" line – I am married, can you sanely believe that?! There will be no more boys stories and I am truly happy with that :)

Our piggy-bank saving has turned into a somewhat different form of saving – it's a home! I cannot stress more on how relieved I was that long tiring search that had taken all my weekends away had come to a happy ending! Despite of the $$$ and time sacrificial to keep the house warm, I think it is worthed ;)

For now, I can be described by three words:
Blissful
Content
Thankful

I'll be back in a heartbeat, I promise.

Lately I feel like I have been in a this prolonged restless searching routine - and I found this ad rather liberating.

"Humans are curious creatures.
I mean, what is it that makes us search every carton in the shop?
That makes us try new things?
What makes us hold out for a perfect match? Or the perfect spot?
Why do we need to know what’s in there, up there, or out there?

Why do we seek?

Because if we didn’t seek we wouldn’t find."

It looks like any other kinda governance building.. they come to report birth (human creation in the world), death (end of a human life), and marriage (including divorce!). It's kinda creepy to know that those silent walls have witnessed both human's most contrary moments - joyous & bitterness.. to know that in that very same building when I would experience one of my happiest moments, there would also be people experiencing great lost of their love ones...............................

I have not written for a while. Things has been shared in a different way now ;) It's good to be back and read back. You can have a view of yourself and smile, "Boy, this is me:)"

Stop Facebooking and do write then you'll know what I mean ;)

It's kinda funny at times when you request for chillies in the restaurant and they give you this chilly-looking stuff, yet you can't taste THE CHILLY you are expecting.

How on earth there are chillies that are NOT hot? Would not call them a chilly if it is not hot, would we?

If I were a chilly, I would be soooo sad if I don't taste hot.. it's like loosing the whole purpose of being a chilly? Lol.

Lots of ppl say they are in crossroads.. why always crossroads? Aren't roundabouts are as puzzling? Lol *dry*

Anyways, haven't been good in keeping the blog alive.. again I'm in a round-about making another decision - one of the those big ones. It's head-crunching I wanna complain but hey at least we are in roundabout - not dead end. At least we've got choices while others don't? It may be worse for those who are in dead end..

Aja fighting! It's not that bad afterall...

Ps. I guess roundabout is kinda better coz u can go back to where u come from? Ok, don't bother.. drive safe!

Of all we can be in this life
We are daughters
We are sisters
We are girlfriends
We are wives
We are mothers

How divine our roles are!

You are looking at a target
In you hands, a bow and ONE arrow
You want to aim it right - don't you?
What does it take to aim it right?
Is it a latest fashionable archery suit?
Is it an shiny bow and gold arrows?
Is it expensive tasty food that is important to build your muscle?
Is it a stylish hair style?
Is it Gucci sunnies?
Is it its accessories; silencers, chess guards, mention it all.
Yes, they are all important and nice to have.
But if you don't have all the time in the world and only
What is REALLY important to aim it right?

Generally we agree that each of us has a fair portion of one life. The good news is, it gives us a sense of achieving the best we can - because there is no other chance. The bad news is that, there is almost no room for mistake - especially with the time's running as fast as this.

Knowing my life now is the only life I have on earth, I want to live it good. My best shot. I don't take chances as I don't live by chances but by significant reason. Of all the battles I can take in this life, I pray that God will give me the wisdom and strength to choose my battle wisely - the battles that are most important and significant. In which I was ever made to.

With a bow and an arrow in my hand, at the end, what is really matter for me if the bow and arrow itself. When everything ends, I want to be remembered as the one who aims it right - not the one with the most expensive equipments=p

Mat 6: 25 Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?

This is what I need to remember.

I will thank the LORD at all times.
My mouth will always praise him.
My soul will boast about the LORD.
I went to the LORD for help. He answered me and rescued me from all my fears.
All who look to him will be radiant. Their faces will never be covered with shame.
Here is a poor man who called out. The LORD heard him and saved him from all his troubles. The Messenger of the LORD camps around those who fear him, and he rescues them.
Taste and see that the LORD is good.
Blessed is the person who takes refuge in him.
Those who fear him are never in need.
Young lions go hungry and may starve, but those who seek the LORD'S help have all the good things they need.
Which of you wants a full life? Who would like to live long enough to enjoy good things?
Keep your tongue from saying evil things and your lips from speaking deceitful things.
Turn away from evil, and do good. Seek peace, and pursue it!
The LORD'S eyes are on righteous people. His ears hear their cry for help.
Righteous people cry out. The LORD hears and rescues them from all their troubles.
The LORD is near to those whose hearts are humble. He saves those whose spirits are crushed. The righteous person has many troubles, but the LORD rescues him from all of them.
The LORD guards all of his bones. Not one of them is broken.

We know what nothing is perfect

everything
every places
every decision
every jobs
every person

has its own good and bad.

So, I really never get it why people like to complain and being negative? If you can celebrate the good in things instead of grumping in dissatisfactions.. why bother to make life harder by whining.. whining.. and whining.

Come on, to be really honest with yourself.. things can't be that bad until you are stuck in its negativity, right?

My last day of being unemployed. I thank God for my unemployment time and I thank God for my job. Content and happy. Can't ask for more!

Have a great day and life by start appreciating the smallest thing in life !!!

Fil 4: 4 Always be joyful in the Lord! I'll say it again: Be joyful!

If you say, man were evolved from monkeys.

So, bother to explain where does monkey from then?

Nothing has ever stayed the same. Children grow, new houses turn old, latest gadgets become outdated. People change. I do change. You do too. Along with age, some changes are pretty obvious. Used to hate savory bun - now loving taro bun like crazy. Used to love cute-not-too-aunty-like-rounded-point shoes... now the pointy shoes are actually not looking as aunty-aunty as I thought before:)

In a more serious side - characters are changed. Bad to good; or good to bad; or just simply a different. As for myself, old friends do spotted a few changes. I am still me though - stubborn;) It's not something to be scared of. In fact, I do believe any sensible person do actually want to change as a sign of growth - maturity - to be a better version of themselves.

It makes me think, the quote "stay the same" that we used to write in our childhood friends memory book is soooo wrong, huh? Lol.

However, despite of this pursue of becoming a better person, nothing is perfect. So when I realized I used to have a character that was bad in some ways, yet the changes that should improve it comes with its own lacking.

So, if every character in a person has its own bad and good - then our pursue to perfection is simply vague. Does it mean we will never be a better person then?

What are we missing?

Ams. 4:7 Wisdom [is] the principal thing; [Therefore] get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding.

It is wisdom. See that wisdom is everything in all we do, think, act. Wisdom helps to balance our charter that will maximize the good thing in a character and minimise the bad in them. Wisdom will help us to know how to be in certain conditions. Wisdom helps us not to be 'heavy' in one side and lacking on the other side. Wisdom will lead us to be a better person. After all, a good person are those with wisdom, right?

That's a bit revealing to know that together with our own will to be a better person, wisdom is present to help. Now, to improve is one thing we can do - so, how do we get this so called wisdom? You know where will I look the answer from ;)

Ams. 9:10

I've been watching K series lately and I realised how I lovee Korean spicy food.
Before I watched a J series and oh my.. those Japanese cream puff.. extra slurp!!

But I love Indo food too..
and Chinese..
Indian curries are indeed good :)
hmm, what about those moeslim-chinese food.. yuum too!!
and oz coz Malay food laa ;)

but today I can't be satisfied enough with warm rice + fried egg topped with sweet soy sauce, YUUM ~

Oh, what a yummy world!!! :D

I've listened to their stories... it's kinda astonishing knowing that there is a life happening, much deeper than what we can barely see through those faces. We've got stories of our own - and feel somehow in this strange world, our stories are the only one that is 'happening'. But Darl, there are a lot more happening out there and everyone has their stories too! Is it bad to say that in someways it's kinda relieving to know that?

Anyway, I've realized that people come across to others. Even those were 'destined' to be, like family. It's such an unsolvable messy thread. But what I've seen more is that our presence as a friend, daughter, parent, sibling, superior, even as a stranger have the power to create either a total hell or a total heaven for others' life?

I've been hearing stories of affair, stories of unthankfkul daughter, abusive father - how people have tremendously tear others apart - a total hell. I think it's kinda scary if in this one time shot in life, we are those who create hell for others' life, either intentionally or not - it doesn't really matter I guess. Hell is Hell.

I do hope in some ways I have been creating heaven for others and especially those who I dearly love - I hope more though, that I don't create hell to anyone around me.

I may be naive but I do hope this evil world we can create a more heavenly places for others - by realizing that our presence, our actions, and words are powerful to create whatever you wanna create in others life - in your life.